I was lying in the bath just the other night and pondering on this question and here’s what I came up with:

Now my belief is that for many of us women we crave at a basic level to be swept off our feet and taken care of. To have a solid rock by our side, someone who’ll love and support us and yes…. be our hero.

BUT… we’re afraid to let go and be honest with ourselves about our true feelings. I honestly believe that men and women fundamentally want the same core qualities in a partner, but somehow along the way we’ve both got scared at how to express the feelings and desires.

The thing is, we know a guy wants a woman that’s confident and independent so if he wants that how can we also be the woman that wants to be swept up and looked after too? They don’t seem to go hand in hand do they?

Well, as with most aspects of our lives there’s a balance to be had so lets look at what men want in a woman and see where we can have a bit of both.

Men want a confident, smart woman. For him this makes him proud to be with you, he’ll enjoy telling his friends all about how great you are and just as importantly it allows him his freedom. He can feel free to go off and do his own thing without fear that you’ll be jealous, left out or needing him to spend time with you to be happy.

1. Men want a woman they can trust. Trust really is the absolute basic foundation of any good relationship and a man needs to know he can trust you to be able to go to each next level in the relationship with you.
2. Men want a woman that appreciates them. We all do don’t we, but so often we focus on the negative aspects and we forget all the great things and attributes our man has, so tell him. Be clear about what he does you love and how it makes you feel. Leave the criticism at the door and focus entirely on all the good stuff he does and then watch how much more he wants to do for you!
3. Men want a woman that’s consistent. They want to know where they are with you. This isn’t to say you can’t be unpredictable and create fun suprises to keep things interesting, but fundamentally he wants to know you’re emotionally stable, trustworthy and someone he can rely on.
4. Men want a woman that’s forgiving. Show him your grace when he messes up. So often we can fall into the critical, competing or worse still mothering mode. Notice when you do it and stop! Men get enough competition at work and they don’t need it in their partner. We all mess up every now and then and unless it’s something huge you’re going to find hard to forgive, then be the one to lead with your feminine grace.

OK, so to re-cap, resist the temptation to compete, be critical or mothering towards your man. If you’re feeling jealous check if it’s something he’s doing wrong or is it your fears that are driving what you say to him.

Understanding what men want and your man in particular can be a constant challenge, but hopefully an enjoyable one and one that will lead you to having an amazing, long lasting and loving relationship.

Have you entered into a relationship hoping it will work out even when you knew instinctively he wasn’t the right man for you?

When it doesn’t do you seem surprised and call your girlfriends saying you’ve been ‘dumped’ again?

This was an all too common occurrence for me and I learned the hard way. There were many a time I started seeing a man that was clearly not right for me but in my need to be loved I allowed him to choose me and I didn’t see him clearly for who he was.

It was as though I didn’t value who I truly was and this need I had to be loved made me a lesser person.

 Any of this resonate for you?

 In the early stages of a relationship it’s easy to fall into infatuation mode and allow this to mask your ability to see so many obvious clues that the guy is NOT the right one for you.

 You want it to work so badly that you seek out and enhance the positive aspects of him and completely ignore any of the negatives.

 And to top it all you can end up idealising the future with a man that is just so wrong for you.

 Men are looking for a woman that is confident in who she is. A woman that demonstrates she has high standards that he’ll need to reach if he’s going to win her over.

 When you’re able to live your life with confidence and from a powerful belief in yourself that no matter what, you’re great and anyone who wants to join you on your journey will be the richer for it, you will exude a part of yourself that guys will find irresistible.

 This secret is key to you finding your true self and attracting the right man for you.

You’ll find more secrets in my book ‘The Secrets To Finding And Keeping An Amazing Man’  by logging onto my site here http://www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk/salesSecretsToFinding.php

Here are just a few of the benefits I believe it offers: 

• It creates the opportunity to meet people where before there was none

• It allows you to filter people out at different stages through emails and phone calls so you only spend time meeting the good guys

• It’s far cheaper than going out to a bar, speed dating or joining a matchmaking service

• It’s full of people just like you, looking for love and it can make be fun…after all, having a drink with a guy is far better than sitting at home watching telly.

 After years of dating online myself I started to become disillusioned and to be honest it all felt like a lot of hard work. Looking through those pages of 2 dimensional photo’s and write up’s felt a bit clinical and kind on weird if I’m being honest. I just wanted to be loved but why was it so hard to find a good guy that I’d really click with?

 The thing was when it came to dating online I didn’t know:

• How to write a good profile that would show the ‘real’ me. What was I going to write to make me sound fun and fabulous when all I do is work, watch telly, shop and go out with my friends?

• What photo’s should I put up?

• Whether to wink at men or not – should I let him to be the one to approach me as I don’t want to look too keen?

• If I was interested in a guy, what should I say or do to get his interest?

 Well, there can be many fears we have about online dating so I thought I’d include all the things that I’ve done wrong so you can avoid them!

 • I’ve opened the laptop on a Sunday afternoon bored and lonely and hoping to meet a man by 7pm!

• I’ve had guys I was emailing and starting something with vanish into thin air

• I’ve believed the find love in 6 months guaranteed promises

• I’ve had abusive emails when I either ignored someone’s email or politely wrote back to say I didn’t feel we were a match

• I’ve met guys that looked nothing like their photos and I mean nothing!

 It occurred to me that there was very little available to help me through the whole process of online dating and yes, there were some self help books that dealt merely with the surface aspects of online dating but I wanted to go a step further, so I created a program that takes you step by step through the whole online dating process and how to find the man that’s right for you.  

Fact: When you date online you have the most potential to actually meet up with a man, go on a date and find a partner for life. In general, online dating sites are paid membership sites so the people on them are really looking to meet up, go on dates and find love. I know it seems obvious but it really is worth pointing out the fact that the men you will meet in this way have taken some time and most likely financial effort to find a woman.

Online dating can be a wonderful way of getting to know a man before a date and not wasting any time. The fact is it’s hard to find love. Most of us have a small circle of married friends or work colleagues and are simply not meeting enough new people on a regular basis to find love. So embrace online dating for what it is, keep positive and have fun. It’s an experience you’ll be likely to get a lot out of… including a great guy! If you want to learn more about my ‘How To Have Fun And Find The One With Online Dating’ program click on the link right here.

Well if any of you have been single a while or you’re still wishing an ex would come back into your life and tell you how silly he was to let you go then read on.

One of the greatest leaps I made in my life when it came to dating was realising that I needed to let go of the outcome. For so long I had felt that when I met a guy everything would fall into place and we’d be in this instant relationship where he’d fall in love with me and me with him and that would be it, job done.

BUT… once I learned that every relationship I enter into will be a journey with it’s ups and downs and at no point during that journey together, would I ever be able to say with 100% security it will always be that could I let go of the need to know what the outcome is, because I can never know so why keep trying?

It isn’t always easy to remember this and it can be even harder to act upon it and however frustrating it sounds, being happy with yourself first is really the best way to let go of the outcome. You see, when you are happy with yourself it is easier to just have a good time getting to know this guy and date him because if things don’t work out, you still have your own life.

A guy will only fall in love with you if he has enough consistent great experiences with you that work for him. No amount of analysing, trying too hard or TALKING with him will make hi ‘feel it’ for you. So, if you find yourself starting to stare at the future looking for answers just remind yourself to have fun and to live in the moment.

That’s all. Just have fun and enjoy every day and date you have together.

Next time he does something great and you want to tell him how much you are falling for him: just have fun.

Next time you are worried that he might not be that into you: just have fun.

Keep reminding yourself before, after and during every date to just have a good time and enjoy the journey. The early stages of dating are some of the best months so don’t cheat yourself or him out of them. Also, keep in mind that the journey never really ends. Whether you end up with him or not, you will constantly be on a mission to discover what works for each other. You may never know everything about him or him about you. It truly takes a lifetime to even get close as we are all so complex and unique. So don’t try to control it, don’t expect anything in particular and take pleasure in the fact that this world is full of surprises.

So if you ant to make the next man you meet fall in love with you, commit to doing some of the things below that will make it easier to let go of the need to know if he will fall in love with you or if he does actually love you!

• Make sure you enjoy your life
• Be confident in who you are and feel that you are worth the chase.
• Don’t look at him through rose tinted specs. Take your time to see him for who he is.
• Stay away from having sex early on with a man you are dating so that you don’t get attached early on.
• Don’t over analyse what he’s doing or thinking, you’ll probably never know anyway

 If you remember to commit to the above, you will have a much easier time not needing to know where your relationship is going. And this really isn’t the kind of thing you can fake. Men can see a needy woman a mile away so make sure you start with yourself before you wonder what he is doing, thinking or feeling for you.

Now I’m not talking about the physical or monetary attributes that would be a bonus, you know, the 6ft tall banker with a great car, no ex wife or kids etc.
I mean the qualities and values and the way he’d be with you that would make you feel loved, cherished and secure. The things that he’d do that would bring out the best in you.

Commit to spending the time really getting to know what these qualities are so that when the next man comes along you’ll know if he’s worth a shot or if you should move on.

Step 2. Decide if you are really ready to attract this guy and have the relationship you want?

The reason it’s important to ask this question is that if your perfect guy turned up in your life tomorrow, would you be the perfect woman for him right now?
So often I hear women listing out everything they want their ideal man to be, yet it seems clear that they haven’t held the mirror up to themselves lately.

The great mature guys out there have choice, just like the great mature woman does. They’re not going to ‘fall’ into any relationship, they’re not going to settle for second best and neither should you.

Take a few moments to write down the sort of person you are in a great relationship.
How do you treat him? How do you cope with disagreements? What do you enjoy doing in your free time with and without him? How do you support him? What do you love about yourself?

What areas of yourself need a little extra attention for you to be at your best?

The good news is that you can have any kind of man and relationship you want. You just have to be prepared to do some work on yourself in order to attract and then be able to keep him, once you get him!

Step 3. Go out and get him!
 
This is the step that we so often neglect. Unless you’re out there meeting people and actively putting yourself in situations where you’re likely to meet the right men, it’s just not going to happen and you’ll end up disheartened and feeling like it’s just all too much like hard work.

Join an online dating site, find new single girlfriends and go out and have some fun. Don’t wait for guys to approach you, yep, it’s great if they do, but you may have to be the one to come up with a cool little one liner to get his attention, and he’ll love you for it.

Now I know you want a guy that’s bold and not afraid to come and chat to you, but don’t forget, guys are scared of rejection too so why not make it easy on him and give love a helping hand after all, what have you got to lose?

Final note:
If you feel like you’re running out of time and wondering if there are any good guys left out there, I can tell you that there are and that this process works!
Don’t try to fit the wrong man into being your perfect partner because you’ll just end up disappointed and frustrated every time.

Commit to taking the time to understand yourself and what will make you happy and then crucially, GO OUT, HAVE FUN AND GET IT!

2) “Which outfit should I wear?”

Lets face it, most guys just want you to feel good in whatever you wear. They probably think you look great in both and just wanna get out the door, enjoy the evening together….before the restaurant closes for the night.  Asking for his approval on what you should wear can be a turn off to many men, so decide for yourself how you feel in each outfit and be confident that you look great, because that’ll be what makes you look good to him.
 
3) “Nothing’s wrong.”

Men aren’t mind readers so if he asks you what’s wrong, TELL HIM. Never go into a sulk or strop, go quiet on hm and expect him to know row worse still to ‘guess’. When we do this we simply go back into our little girl mode and
this isn’t attractive or endearing to a man. Figure out what has happened to make you feel bad and what it is you want him to do to sort it out for yu and then tell him, calmly and clearly and he’ll love you for it.

4) “We need to talk.”

Oh boy, are these four words going to get him running for the hills faster than anything else.  Men know emotions are about to come up when we want to ’have the talk’ and that’s a challenge for many. Their natural reaction is to preserve the status quo and be strong to take care of you so going into his emotions isn’t an easy task for many men. I know you’ll want to know where things are going, but trust me, no amount of talking about your relationship with him will have him feeling closer to you. Instead, figure out what it is you need to feel secure and how you can ask him for that in a way that’ll feel good for him and don’ assume what you want is what he wants!
 
5) “I think we should just be friends.”

If you’re feeling like a relationship is not working out, be honest with the guy. Don’t make up some story about still being friends because he’ll be likely to think that there’s still a chance, so if you really feel that there isn’t any likelihood you’ll want to date him, just say it and you can both move on. Attraction is not a choice and rejection often isn’t personal (even though we so often feel that it is).

One of the greatest leaps I made in my life when it came to dating was realising that I needed to LET GO of  needing to know what the outcome with this man was going to be. For so long I had felt that when I met a guy everything would fall into place and we’d be in this INSTANT RELATIONSHIP where he’d fall in love with me and me with him and that would be it and we’d live happily ever after forever.

Once I realised that every relationship I enter into will be a journey with it’s ups and downs and at no point will I ever be able to say with 100%  certainty that it will always be that way, could I let go of the need to know what the outcome will be. Instead every relationship is a journey to be enjoyed at every stage and in doing that you’re far more likely to reach your destination. I hope you do.

All the best for today

Having used online dating sites for over 5 years myself I know how frustrating and confusing they can be. It can all seem like a daunting process – no doubt about it. The fact is it’s hard to find love without it. Most of us have a small circle of married friends or work colleagues and are simply not meeting enough new people on a regular basis to find love.

Internet dating is a great way of creating opportunities where there were none but the trick  is to know what you’re doing.

Dating online is a skill… Good news is I’ve done all the hard work for you so you don’t have to struggle on your own any longer.

So no more opening that laptop on a Sunday afternoon when you’re bored and lonely, no more writng random emails hoping he’ll contact you. I’ll show you EXACTLY how to attract the right man for you whils graciously avoiding the wrong ones.

Remember: Internet dating is the place where you have the most potential to actually meet up with a man and go on a date.

It’s great and can be a lot of fun, if you know how.

www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk

OK, so when I say ‘tips’ I’m talking about what attracts a guy to want to start dating and stay with you in a long term relationship.

You don’t have to look like Jennifer Lopez to be attractive to men. Read on to see how these 3 tips could help you take a second look at your beliefs about men and what attracts them for the long haul

No. 1  Men do not fall in love when they have sex.

 It certainly took me a long to accept this but trust me this really is the ultimate truth!

 If there’s just one thing I’d love for you to get from this article it’s this:

 Men do not fall in love when they have sex

 There is a massive difference between men and women when it comes to physical attraction and intimacy.  In fact, we barely see eye to eye at all.  You aren’t going to love everything I say in this next bit but I’m telling you now, if you don’t take it on as truth, you will continue to see heartache and tough times.  On the contrary, accepting this can make the road ahead a million times easier.

So let’s take some time to look at physical attraction since that is really where it all begins.  Unless you are trying to turn your best mate into your boyfriend, chances are you don’t know enough about the man and he doesn’t know enough about you to have much more than the physical at the start.

And men are very dominated by this in general.  There are a few men out there that I have met who seem to be immune to beauty and sexual enticement from women but most are very stimulated by this visually and their physical urges to have sex with you.

 The fact of the matter is that men can have sex without wanting a relationship or feeling the urge to ever speak to you again for that matter. 

So the best advice I can give you is don’t sleep with a man early on in the relationship if you want to be sure of securing a long term partnership with him.

No. 2  Be feminine.

As I’ve said, men are predominantly visual and can’t help being attracted to women with a feminine air about them. They’re wired to interpret a woman’s signs of health and youth as an indicator that she’d be a good baby maker…even if that’s not what he wants anymore.

Luckily though, you are in control of the way you look. So if you’re unhappy with your weight, skin or clothes commit to doing what you know you need to feel good about yourself. When you’re confident with the way you look, you’ll find men are naturally attracted to you.

Dress to make the best of your figure, bring out your confident feminine side and enjoy being a woman, you may surprise yourself with how good it feels and remember…If you want a masculine man, he’s most likely to want a feminine woman!

If you want to learn more about finding your inner confidence, go here and take a look at a great book by Paul McKenna ‘Instant Confidence’ – It helped me even though I never thought I had a problem with confidence!

No. 3  Smile, smile and smile some more!

It sounds obvious, but we’re attracted to people who are attracted to us, and although we’re often not conscious of the subtle signs going on around us it can help to be aware, at some level at least, that you’re more attractive when you’re happy, smiling, making  eye contact and being interested in the other person. So the next time you like the look of a guy, smile and make it easy for him to talk to you, you never know where it might lead!

For more advise and relationship tips go to the website and get your FREE 7 part e-course ‘How To Solve The Mystery Of What’s Keeping You Single’ now.

 www.HaveFunFindingTheOne.co.uk

Now many of us seem to have this uncanny knack of sabotaging our relationships before they begin. We can have an old habit or way of being that stops us finding or keeping the right person and it can often undermine our self-esteem, self-confidence and keep us from meeting or keeping the right man in our lives.

So….

I’m going to challenge you here to start to take a look at those ways of behaving that seem to be causing the same results and pain for you in your relationships  because once you can recognise them they key is to learn how you can do things differently.

One of the most common fears that causes so manyof us to keep sabotaging our relationships is REJECTION.  I am convinced this is the number one fear that we hold because of our hurt from previous relationships and not wanting to be burnt again.

Let’s suppose you are just starting a new relationship and you’re worrying about what he or she thinks of you? Are they calling or texting you enough? Are you reading between every single line they send and then going back and reading your texts to them and wondering how it might have come across to them?  The trick in any situation is to start to become aware of what’s going on inside of you and then to notice what it is doing to you, what feelings and emotions are coming up? What actions are following on from those emotions? If you can just STOP and take a good look at your own fears before you write that text, pick up the phone or hit the send email button, you’ll immediately see a change in your dating life.

 If you want to learn how your fears are coming across to a man and how you can get back in control of your love life go here now www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk